the ledge

I had a dream last night -- chaotic, confusing, non-sense making.

in the midst of it though, there was truth. I'll try to sift through the dirt of it to get to it.

So I was in an unfamiliar city. After meeting with a pastor at my church at dinner where I was expecting some very specific and penetrating questions (I don't think I received them), I found myself watching a man who was wading in water (a small lake, with a dock) - I heard what seemed to be his voice over. He was up to his eyes in the water so I knew he couldn't have been speaking. His voice-over spoke of being left, or lost, or despairing. There was a definite sense of aloneness. Sorry for the uneasy transition, but suddenly this man and I were in some sort of creek, surrounded by trees. It was dark -- not pitch dark -- but dark like I knew it was day somewhere but it was absent because of the tree cover that surrounded us. We stood in the creek, although I do not remember feeling wet or cold, or even sad myself. I only remember having recognized the despair in the man next to me. Suddenly, as certainly as we were in this darkness, something happened to uncover us. A gathering of birds flew from their perch - the perch revealed a statue of Jesus, the sun engulfed us. The man was instantly lifted from his state of despair. At this point I'm not sure if these were my thoughts in the dream, or his words to me - but in some way I came to understand that the statue of Jesus was a sign or a gift given to us at the very point where we were, so that we knew God was with us and eager to lead us. A flood of examples came to mind, reminding me of God's faithfulness to those in situations seemingly helpless, difficult, or frustrating. Specifically, I had an understanding of God giving signs, clues, or gifts to those people to help them. Back in the creek, the man's influence became that of a leader - I had a new awareness of myself being there while I also realized at this point that someone was with us - a friend of mine. I was full of hope and confidence, hanging at this mans every word as he shared the truth of 'God with us'. We followed him into an elevator in what was a very tall building. In the elevator my excitement and confidence in the Lord were increasing. We exited at the top floor and walked through a room without walls. I realized he wanted to show us something and I saw a ledge in front of us. I began to grow fearful - my friend (not the man) was becoming more confident (she was previously seemingly uninterested and unaware). We walked out on the ledge - my friend practicially jumping for it - I timidly and unsure. I was gripping the edge of the building as my friend and the man walked forward to the edge. The view was breathtaking. He showed us the city in front of us. There were distinct sections. One was full of beautiful St. Peters Cathedral-esque buildings. Another full of mosques, and still another with simple homes. We took in the view for a moment, I felt a mixture of fear, timidity, and excitement. I had not yet let go of the ledge.

Then I woke up.